She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
