people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
