I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
