**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Randomize
