Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
