discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
