i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
you told grandpa to call you daddy
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
