and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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