Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
