Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
