He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
