All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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