You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
