yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
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I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
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Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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