More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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