if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
