Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
is that a dick in a sweater?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
