Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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