i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Drake has all the answers
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