hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
