"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
