I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
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