she smelled like a LAN party
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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