well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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