pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Small penises have feelings too.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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