Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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