After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
