I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
it was like eating out sand paper
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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