Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize