I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
