Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize