Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
