My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize
