I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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