if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
