ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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