you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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