party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
