I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
