can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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