I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
