i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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