At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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