Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
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