So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
