you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
