More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
