Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
