I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
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