Have you finally orgasmed yet?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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