Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
