perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Dicks are not precious.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
