I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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