I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
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