I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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