I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
