Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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