i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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