I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Only a mothe r could love this liver
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
