I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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