he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize